PS. OH STEVIE WONDER, I LOVE YOU.

There are certain songs that, no matter how I feel, make me smile.. a genuine,take over my whole face smile (which are the best kind!). I love every version of this song that was released, but this one, by far, is my favourite. While Wonder was not the first to sing this song, he was the one that turned it into a classic. It reminds me of summer.. and being young.

Watch this video, and if it does make you feel warm inside, you have no heart..

The cheer up list

Before I do that, though, it seems that a lot of you are coming to this page via googling the italian rugby players. If any of you are the italian rugby players, my name is May, im 29, and single. Please get in touch hahahaha.

ANYHOO. there are a lot of things going on in my life and i usually write out cheer up lists when I am unhappy. Luckily, I am not unhappy and I am just copying charlottes post haha

I am currently looking forward to:

30th

I have literally been building up to my 30th Birthday for a year. Everytime people would ask how old I was, I would proudly say "im going to be 30 in January."29 was hard for me. I was working a job I didnt enjoy and was generally unhappy. 30 is going to be different. 30 is the time for change.

Anyhow, I am a fan of lists, and an even bigger fan of birthday lists, and as I don't celebrate Christmas, here you go.. will be updated regularly as I keep thinking of more things that I actually want.

- Carmen Curl Perfect hair dryer
- Flickr Pro account
-To Die For, boy beater
- New Kids on the block various memorabia
- COA- Blood for Blood rip off hoodie
- Kill Your Idols Zip up
- SOIA Cardigan (fuck i want this so bad) (someone said they were getting this for me! HURRAH!)
- SOIA Bag

- Morning Again Wu Tang shirt in youth medium. I have literally wanted this shirt since 97.
Deathwish and Malfunction Jewellery. And a deathwish tote bage in green and pink but im far too lazy to find that.



and finally, if you got lotsa money (haha), then: THESE.

as i said, this is prob going to be as long as both my arms combined by the time my birthday comes round.

the new TRC video

Khaled makes awesome videos. He made the Ninebar video and now has just completed the new one for TRC. Im generally not a fan of hardcore bands doing music videos, other than SOIA, who do it well (see the videos for Step Down and District) but this one came out really well.




-----------------------------------

and i love this song. I am aware that this makes me terribly uncool. But, seriously, I was never cool in the first place.

Serious

Dolce and Gabbana have so got it right this time.. Using the Italian Rugby Team as models for your latest ad campaign? Actual genius.

How to save a life

Waterloo station. I would, at a guess, say about 10,000 people pass through the station from all over the south east of England every day.

I wonder how many people have stared at this poster and changed their lives because of it.

I know it changed mine.

Its time to re-evaluate and re-assess again.

Grey's Anatomy

I will confess. I had NO interest in this show when it first began. I had watched, i believe, about a quarter of an episode.

One of my boring weekends in, and I am now hooked... so much so that I actually, at this very moment in time, would like to do nothing more than lie in bed and watch the show. It has taken me and week and a half to finish two series.

BUT. I have worked in a hospital. I spent most of my early 20s in hospitals. None of the doctors are attractive.. even the junior doctors. The nurses are miserable and hate life. And noone is in love. And few are friends. I know the show isn't real... but it shows such a warped view on love that I love it. (spoilers ahead).



You find "love", and he/she dies. You find "love" and walk into a room where he is screwing a nurse. You find "love" and he turns out to be married.


And for someone as bitter and twisted as me, I love it, because, even though the show isn't realistic in the slightest, it somewhat comforts me to not be showing the boring "love is wonderful and happy and great" side that most programmes like this show.


3 more series to go.

You will never be able to understand.

We have all had it.

You start a new job, and somehow conversations with your new co-workers turns to "oh you are into music? What kind of music?".

Say just "Hardcore" and people will assume you mean happy hardcore. My substandard answer is "Hardcore Punk". Most will not question this.
Some ask "Oh? Like what bands?"
"You won't have heard of any of them," I usually respond, as politely as possible. "They are pretty underground bands."
"Try me." Most that say this like to think of themselves as music connoisseurs.
"Sick of it all? They are my favourite band." I say with a bemused grin.
"Oh. I have never heard of them."

But how do you explain your love of hardcore to someone else?

"I have been going to shows for 11 years now. There is nowhere I feel better than when I am stood in a room full of people climbing on top of each other, trying to get the mic off the singer.. I enjoy nothing more than being surrounded by people losing their mind, singing along.. I love the feeling of finding a new band that impress me more than a band has done in months... knowing that great things are in store for them.. When my favourite band are onstage, and im singing along, nothing else in the world matters. Anything that has gotten me down has been forgotten..
When I am walking down the street on the way to work, and a song that i love comes on shuffle, I smile, like I have a secret that none of the suits I am surrounded by will ever know about.

I have travelled thousands of miles to see bands. I have spent more money on hardcore then I care to think about. I have seen hundreds of bands. I have made the best of friends. It IS my life. It will always be my life. You may have "grown up and had a normal life" but the sad thing is that you will never get to feel what I feel every day. You will never ever feel so much passion about something that makes your life infinitely better. And for that, I pity you."

Most would look at you like you were insane.

this is the best thing i have seen in a long time.

Man, Scandinavia

I swear to God, if it wasnt so expensive to live in Sweden, I would totally go live there.

The ratio of beautiful people is ridiculous. I have never been in a room with that many beautiful boys before.

I kissed a girl, and i liked it.

SHUT UP.. it has been a long time since I disliked a song as much as I hate this one...

One of the reasons I am slightly bummed that the world didn't actually end today is because I will have to, inevitably, hear this song at least another 200 times before I die.

RIP Internal Affairs.

It sucks when bands split. It sucks tenfold when a band splits that I was expecting to both put on and see in 6 weeks time. I am truly gutted

6 years, 17 countries, and countless shows…

The road for Internal Affairs is coming to an end. This band has been so amazing for the 5 of us, and we are so thankful for everyone who has been apart of it. We have met some of the most incredible friends from around the world thanks to I.A. We have decided to call it quits. No need for a long ridiculous explanation other than we feel it is time to move on. Thanks for your support over the years. Special thanks to: Malfunction Records, Triumvir, Resist Records, Deathwish Inc., Not Just Words Records, 530 Records, Avocado Booking, Crime Scene Merch, Icon Screen Printing, TDT Screen Printing, Untied Print & Press, Tim Oswald, LAHC and everyone who has toured with us, fed us, or provided us a place to stay.


Unfortunately we have to cancel the European tour due to the sudden decision. As for a last show, something will be announced shortly.

This. SUCKS.

Marriage

Before I go any further on this topic, let me just clarify that to all my friends reading this that ARE married, I'm very happy for you and this post, in no way whatsoever, reflects your relationship with your respective partners.


Some of my friends have their weddings planned out. They know exactly what they will look like, what music will be playing, they have it planned to a t..
I never did. I don't really think about it, because I don't think I ever want to get married.

My married friends say that this will change when I meet "the one".

But heres the catch. I don't believe in Love. I think that people mistake lust for love.. sometimes feelings of lust are stronger than others.. but being "in love", to me, is a farce. So, there is no such thing as "the one" (there are 3 billion people in the world, and the notion that we are meant to only meet one person that is totally right for us? hah).. and in turn, marriage was something that never appealed to me.



Oh and, the only way I am ever getting married is if i get this ring (and no. im not kidding):

The Tiffanys Jean Schlumberger Engagement ring. Cost: $24,000.

As Friends Rust.

Im old. This is something I am neither ashamed of, nor proud of. Its a simple fact.

The way that I found out about bands when I first got into hardcore is totally different to how kids find out about them now. We weren't spoonfed bands via the internet. I would get a cd/tape (told you I was old), and read the thank yous in the liner notes. Kids i respected would make me mix tapes (I remember getting one from my friend Danny that had Murphys Law "Stay Gold", one of my all time favourite songs, and Judge "New York Crew", with the words "the only hardcore song you will ever need" next to it, on it.). I would go to shows and check out what shirts kids were wearing. I remember seeing the name "As Friends Rust" a lot so when they played, I went and checked them out.

I loved them.


The songs were perfect. Damiens voice is phenomenal. "The first song on the tape that you make her", "home is where the heart aches" and "coffee black" have been three of my favourite songs forever and AFR have been one of my favourite bands since that show.

I would get that buzz everytime I heard they were coming through town, and would leave their shows with no voice...

Damien left in 2002 and the band split.

Rumours began to surface at the beginning of this year that the band were reforming for a couple of shows and in spring, a show in their hometown of Gainsville, Florida, and a handful of shows in Europe were announced.

Feelings of both excitement and scepticism passed through most AFR fans. The band hadn't been together for such a long time, and reunions were never as good as when the band were together.

Boy, was everyone wrong. The band played like they had never split up, to the best reaction seen for a long time in London. Kids packed up front, singing along like their life depended on it.

Rumours that they are to release a new album soon have been floating around since the reunion show. Lets hope so.

A brief update.

- Ivona. This is a girl who I have a lot of respect for and I adore. She is a strong female involved in hardcore. She can shred guitar better than a lot of dudes I know. And everyone that comes in contact with her falls in love with her.

She has started a new blog called Conspiracy of Women, and wanted to interview me. Obviously, I obliged.

Go read it.

CONSPIRACY OF WOMEN.

- Linking to this, Ivona's band, Honour Among Thieves, are playing one of two of their last shows at Deadfest in Sweden next weekend. You should go:



This is Deadfests last year. I have spent the past two days debating on whether to go or not.
In 2005, I had the same dilemma.

That year, I made a bunch of awesome new friends, Dave Heck being one of them..I became super close to one of my now best friends, and I have some of my favourite memories in the world (Rock Karaoke, Kim Ahls "charging of being fucked up the arse", winning, fuck.. I could go on forever).

So I am going back for one final time. To say goodbye to Linkoping, as I will never have another reason to return, to watch HAT for the second to last time, and to say goodbye to one of the best fests of the summer.

Summer 2008

3 days. 3 FUCKING DAYS? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

That is the subtotal of days of non stop sun London saw in 2008.

The only thing rain is good for:

"What happened to Passions?"

I am VERY VERY sorry to all the people that are coming onto this blog, looking for the answer to this question, but the reason that Google linked this blog was to do with the first line of an H2O song "what happened?" and an entry I wrote a couple of weeks ago.

I find it amusing when Google gets it wrong though.

So, as someone living on The Great British Isles, I have never even heard of this show.
I thought I would check it out.

Seriously people, are you are so into this show that you have gone out of your way to find out why the show ended???

Wow.

Radiohead

I was going to write a whole long entry about this band. But im not.

All I am going to say is that they are phenomenal.

People you need in your life #3- Joerg AKA Naggi

Going to fests and shows in Germany and surrounding areas for many years, I used to know Joerg as the guy, always on the side of the stage, always filming. It took us an afternoon of being on opposite sides of a room, me selling merch, and him doing distro at Maximum Destruction in 2004 for us to start talking.
With a love of films more than anyone I know, a collection of the best mainland live hardcore videos of at least the past 5 years and an attitude that can't be beat, Joerg is one of the people that has helped me out a lot and become a good friend.


We decided to interview each other, with my interview appearing on his blog, I Hate Your Heroes, on a bored Tuesday evening.


1. How did you get into hardcore?
I kind of slided in from the Metalscene. I used to listen to all the metal stuff as i was a child, starting with metallica's JUSTICE FOR ALL in '88 (i was 7 then) when
my brother bought that one i got caught in the music somehow. Then someone of my metalfriends gave me a tape with the Cro-Mags and Pro-Pain a few years after that
and for me that was just another form of metal back then. Via those bands i came across all the new york stuff like Agnostic Front, Madball (which i never really liked), Sick of It All, The Bad Brains etc. I came to realise that those
bands had more for me then just cool music so i dug myself deeper into hardcore and found out about those other scenes like Boston and Cleveland. i listened to both metal and hardcore equally during the first years and went "hardcore exclusive" sometime around 2002 and began to realize that theres a huge local scene here in my area. my first hardcore show i've been to was shortly after that. one of the first
hardcorebands i saw was Born From Pain.

2. Favourite show ever?
thats really a tough one. there are a few that really stick out of all the shows i've seen so far. Definitly Sick of It all on their tour with Pro Pain and Do Or Die in Essen. Both supporting bands were great and SOIA just gave me goosebumbs
with their intro which was an Air Raid Siren and two red flashing lights....
Then Wisdom in Chains on Ninjafest in 2007 in London really sticks out a lot as well. They are an awesome band, with a great lyrical attitute, the best singalongs and the atmosphere in the room was nothing but Sweat-dripping-amazing. i couldnt really speak for days after that.
One of the greatest shows but also one of the biggest disappointing ones clearly was All Out War at Pressure Fest. since we confirmed them for playing i was so much
looking forward to that show since that band is just speaking out what i am thinking about religion and some other topics and i was even more excited as their intro started. and them i broke a finger after 10 seconds. i watched a couple more songs and went to the hospital. i loved that show it will be forever in my mind though it ended in a big mess and surgery. shit happens

3. You worked in the Alveran store in Bochum. How did that come about?
Alveran opened a shop in Bochum (Bochum wattenscheid back then) and me and some friends got the flyer for the opening on a show, so we went there on the first day to check out this hardcore record shop. i bought about 15 records the first day and another 40 or so in the next few weeks. i spent a lot time in the story during that months and talked to the guys about music and stuff, then one day i got asked if a had something to do on the next saturday and i wanted to do the store for them since they wanted to go to a show somewhere to do distro. i did the shop a few times after that and became friends with them. Then i got introduced to the Distro stuff on shows and soon went to numberous shows with a friend of my doing the distro. we had a lot of fun during that time and just enjoyed it. I was still a
constructionworker back then but after i quit that job i immediatly started working for Alveran. First i just did the shop, selling records. then i joined the online stuff and tried to built up a streetteam but that didnt work out that much. some time later i took over the online stuff completely. I took over the graphics as that employee got fired and also i helped out the promotion guys when they had big mailouts and stuff like that. After another one left Alveran, i took over his duty as well and was now in charge of getting all the newest records and merchandise for
the shop and also the online shop.

4. How long were you there for? And why did you leave?
i joined them in 2005. around december or so on a non regular basis. i joined them full time in september 2006 i think and left in June 2008. as i mentioned before i
took over some work of other people as they left the label so i was doing the following: the shop, the online shop and the contact to the customers, buying the stock for both shops, doing the newsletter (which with my basic html-skills was a day-long task sometimes), all the graphics and the shipping for the online shop. i left because it was just too much work to do for a single person. most of the days the shop itself and the online stuff took 6-7 hours of my 9 hour day and i still had to do graphics and stuff then which is just not enough time. during this years Pressure-booking i didnt even go on my lunchbreak anymore since it was
30minutes that i could use to get more things done. When i first started at alveran, i told myself to do it as long as i enjoy it and that was just not the case anymore and i knew it wouldnt have changed. it was only stress and i dont need that. you know you should stop when you lay in bed and think "i have to go there tomorrow again" and you cant
sleep because of that.

5. What was the weirdest thing you ever saw there?
haha ok this story is no lie. this happened and a friend of mine can proof that: we were in the shop one day and some guy came in. he had a sailors uniform on, those kinds that you get in halloween shops! with the hat and all. he looked really weird and it was totally clear that he was nuts. so he asked us with a voice that only a totally drugged insane person has if we had TAPES. we said no and he then told us his story that only had one tape which he listened over and over again. it was some german singer stuff, like tom jones style, very old stuff. and he kept telling the story over and over again and just didnt wanna leave the store. after
like half an hour a friend of him came in and took him out telling us that "he escaped again" and that he does that with first recordstore he can find.

6. You do design stuff.. how did this come about?
I just got me a graphics program and tried ^^ first i did some real ugly looking flyers for shows some friends did, they needed some flyer, i could do that. and they were really ugly flyers. i'm actually embarassed of them when i see them now haha. well i tried and tried and got a lot better over time, then i got my hands on some decent graphics tools and started doing "the good stuff" over time. some friends asked me if i could do some logos for their bands, then the first shirt design came, another friends band asked me if i could do their artwork for the next
cd and it came out pretty good and here i am now. doing shirts, flyers, artworks for my friends.
I also learned a lot at Alveran where i had to deal with printing proportions for Adds, printflyers and all the stuff. They needed something that put me in front of
a problem so i spend my free time to solve that and get the job done. i dont know if i would have ever done that if it wasnt for my job which i liked a lot back then. so i owe them that kind of.
With all due resprect to Sascha, i owe him alot and had some amazing times there and also learned alot about the "business", but i just had to move on.

7. Films or hardcore? You are pretty passionate about both. But if you had to chose, which one would you give up?
I would clearly give up hardcore. because there is also other music that i like and in fact i listen to very few new hardcore stuff and rather listen to the old bands i listened to back in my early hardcore days. but i listen to a lot of different stuff now and i would never give up all movies for a form of music. maybe if you would ask me "would you rather give up actionmovies/sci-fi movies/etc. or hardcore"
i would chose hardcore over movies, but movies kind of give me much more. its like a movie can tell a full story and put up a whole bunch of questions, whereas a song can only tell a story for like 4minutes. there are themed-albums there but you always got the music that distracts you from the lyrics kind of. its hard to explain, i can concentrade on a movie and the thoughts behind it much better as on a song. maybe i'm just unable to decipher a 'soundtracked poem' ^^
Almost most hardcore bands just have silly lyrics haha

8. Favourite song ever?
that must be the meanest question ever. its impossible for me to pick one. though i can tell you which song i really like and why. its Sick of It All's 'Good Looking Out' cause its a great piece of music, fast, intense, its just fun to
listen to it, has awesome singalongs and also it always reminds me of the great times i had during their concerts since they ALWAYS start with that song. You know what you get on a SOIA show and you want them to begin with that song. I always get goosebumbs when i listen to that song.

9. Favourite soundtrack ever?
my favorite soundtrack is clearly 'The Thin Red Line' by Hans Zimmer. The movie is about a company of soldiers conquering guadalcanal in the pacific ocean in WWII
against Japan. The movie shows what drives the soldiers to go on and stay alive, it shows the dark side of war and what it does to nature. The soundtrack is the perfect match to the movie and its message. it has dark themes, kind of threatening ones as well as dreamy ones for the thoughts of the soldiers and the final song of that soundtracks is a melanesian choir which is singing a traditional melanesian
song, showing that whatever war may come, tradition will stay alive and nature will be stronger in the end. you can hurt it, but you can't kill it. nature will always be only real survivor of war. Hans Zimmer did an outstanding job on this one.

10. Favourite film ever?
I have to say FIGHT CLUB. Its just a great book and i think an even better movie. I love the fact of people getting together and forming some sort of anarchist rebellion against the society. also its just so dark, so intense. the art the movie looks with all its dirt, the little flashes. also i love the fact that i still discover new stuff i didnt notice the last time i watched it. like you can get a clue of what is about to happen in the end of the movie if you listen carefully to what the narrator says and especially WHEN he says it. For example there is one scene in the movie where Edward Norton's character is standing on transport-thing on an airport and from the off he says "we wake up in different airports, different places. could we be waking up as different people?" and in that exact moment Tyler is passing by in the other direction and the camera follows him for a second. you dont realize that his little camera move is very revealing, only if you watch it again and again and pay close attention you will get all those little clues and
hints, and thats genius. thats what makes a movie good.

THANKS JOERG!

Newquay

I spent the past few years avoiding Cornwall. Something that my neighbour, who frequents the area, said to us about 8 years ago about the area being terribly racist made me not want to go.

Three years ago, I met a couple at Ieperfest, called Wayne and Rach (or Rayne and Wach as I keep slipping up and saying haha). They came from Newquay and a while after knowing them and becoming good friends, I mentioned my neighbours views to Rach and she laughed.

So, last weekend, me and Lynne went up to see them. I wish I hadn't listened to my neighbour. I have never loved a place as much as I loved Newquay. The chilled out atmosphere combined with the friendliness of people made it the complete opposite of London. I met so many awesome people, got to go and swim in the sea.. and saw the most beautiful views in the world. I have warned the two that next summer im going to be there bothering them every other weekend.

Thank you both for being the best hosts.

The Ladder Theory

I first became fully aware of The Ladder Theory YEARS ago. I was hanging out at one of my favourite haunts, a walkabout bar (drunk aussie boys.. doesn't get much better than that) with a bunch of aussie boys I know. We, somehow, got onto the topic of male/female relationships and one of the boys declared that 80% of my male friends wanted to fuck me, and that is why they hung out with me. I thought this concept was hilarious and told him he was being an idiot. He looked at me, and said "why would guys want to hang out with girls.. they can't talk about football, we can't be as open when there are girls around and girls can't drink". (UM.. HELLO? I CAN TOTALLY OUTDRINK THE MAJORITY OF MY MALE FRIENDS IF CHALLENGED!).
Still laughing at his theory, I questioned it.
"so, you want to fuck me?"
"oh yeah." he answered, all, a matter of factly.
"liar," I replied, now in hysterics.
"Seriously. This is not a line. All three of us out with you tonight would. In fact, most of the dudes you hang out with would."

Now, don't get me wrong, I am WELL aware that most of my male friends do not want to have sex with me, and this is something that I am comfortable with. I found this idea as ridiculous as "The Rules," which is a book about how to snag a man (read: how to play games to snag a man) that I read when at University for an essay I was writing.

So, laughing about it, I questioned a bunch of my male friends, and one of them led me to The Ladder Theory. So that night, in my boredom, I read the whole site.

My male friend swears by it. He says this is totally how the male mind works and questioned me about the female aspect of it.

I am going to keep my thoughts about it to myself for the moment.
But have a read of it. Its pretty interesting.

MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL AND NFG CONNECTION

OK.. maybe i lied a bit. There is no real connection at all... but, on this boring, quiet Saturday night, I was watching trashy American TV and came across "Make me a Supermodel."...a show that takes the lead from "Americas Top Model" but add a few factors that make it different enough for the network to be free from litigation... There are male models as well as female models, there are 2 presenters, and America votes off the model.

Yes, i am THAT bored.

ANYHOW, so I'm watching the show, and one of the models looks terribly familiar. I couldn't place it, till midway through the show where the photographs are being judged.

Ronnie looks like Chad Gilbert!!



Ok, a thinner, more chiseled Chad Gilbert, but Chad none the less (this is, by no means, to say Chad is not terribly attractive.. as he is..).

The above picture reminded me of this picture:



(seriously, I looked for a bigger version, but couldn't find one).


Oh come on. You can totally see it.

What happened to the passion? What happened to the reason for screaming.

This is going to be a double post, in that I am taking a section of this post where I talk about the album as my album of the week for my internet radio show on TotalRock.. and considering that I have only done about 3 albums of the week in the history of my show, I think thats pretty good.

In 2002, I attended a festival at Finsbury Park entitled Deconstruction. The line up was incredible, the highlights being H2O and the Movielife. At this point in my life, I was not a huge H2o fan. When first getting into hardcore 6 years previous to this, Sick Of It All became my favourite New York Hardcore band, with Madball a close second. I liked H2O, but i was so excited by these two bands that I never really gave them a chance more than listening to them in my friends car on roadtrips places or singing along to "5Yr Plan" at the awful rock clubs we used to frequent.
A couple of days after the fest, the band played at the Dingwalls in Camden.. again, i remember thinking they were good, picking up their albums but only listening to them once in a while, usually in summer.

Fast forward to May 27th 2008. H2O release one of the most anticipated albums of the year, Nothing to Prove, on Bridge 9 Records and announce a european tour.
H2O fans have waited seven years for this record. And most won't be disappointed. This record is, in one word, fan-bloody-tastic. It has been a while since there has been an album that has held my attention from start to finish and makes me smile as much as this album. Highlights include the catchy chorus of the title track, "Nothing to Prove" and the perfect ending to the album with "What happened?" which includes guest vocals from Lou Koller from Sick of It All and Matt Skiba from Alkaline Trio, a song that has literally been stuck in my head for the past two weeks. (When you pick up the album, make sure you listen to Adam Blakes facts you didnt know about H2O. The best.)

The band were a highlight of Pressurefest 2008, so much so that we roadtripped it up to Luton on Sunday to see them as we couldn't wait for the London show. They played to a room of people like they were playing to the 50,000 kids at Deconstruction, with as much heart and as much passion.

So you need to do two things.
1. Go to your local record store and pick up "Nothing to Prove".
2. Go and see them at the Underworld tomorrow. If you are unable to make this date, the band are also playing the Peel in Kingston on the 21st August (i am GUTTED i cant make this date), Reading and Leeds festival and Ieperfest in Belgium. Go and see them.


You will not be disappointed.

Unfortunately

What with a full time job, RunningRiot booking, Summer trips away, I will not be able to update for a bit till things calm down. sorry kids. keep checking back!