You will never be able to understand.

We have all had it.

You start a new job, and somehow conversations with your new co-workers turns to "oh you are into music? What kind of music?".

Say just "Hardcore" and people will assume you mean happy hardcore. My substandard answer is "Hardcore Punk". Most will not question this.
Some ask "Oh? Like what bands?"
"You won't have heard of any of them," I usually respond, as politely as possible. "They are pretty underground bands."
"Try me." Most that say this like to think of themselves as music connoisseurs.
"Sick of it all? They are my favourite band." I say with a bemused grin.
"Oh. I have never heard of them."

But how do you explain your love of hardcore to someone else?

"I have been going to shows for 11 years now. There is nowhere I feel better than when I am stood in a room full of people climbing on top of each other, trying to get the mic off the singer.. I enjoy nothing more than being surrounded by people losing their mind, singing along.. I love the feeling of finding a new band that impress me more than a band has done in months... knowing that great things are in store for them.. When my favourite band are onstage, and im singing along, nothing else in the world matters. Anything that has gotten me down has been forgotten..
When I am walking down the street on the way to work, and a song that i love comes on shuffle, I smile, like I have a secret that none of the suits I am surrounded by will ever know about.

I have travelled thousands of miles to see bands. I have spent more money on hardcore then I care to think about. I have seen hundreds of bands. I have made the best of friends. It IS my life. It will always be my life. You may have "grown up and had a normal life" but the sad thing is that you will never get to feel what I feel every day. You will never ever feel so much passion about something that makes your life infinitely better. And for that, I pity you."

Most would look at you like you were insane.

this is the best thing i have seen in a long time.

Man, Scandinavia

I swear to God, if it wasnt so expensive to live in Sweden, I would totally go live there.

The ratio of beautiful people is ridiculous. I have never been in a room with that many beautiful boys before.

I kissed a girl, and i liked it.

SHUT UP.. it has been a long time since I disliked a song as much as I hate this one...

One of the reasons I am slightly bummed that the world didn't actually end today is because I will have to, inevitably, hear this song at least another 200 times before I die.

RIP Internal Affairs.

It sucks when bands split. It sucks tenfold when a band splits that I was expecting to both put on and see in 6 weeks time. I am truly gutted

6 years, 17 countries, and countless shows…

The road for Internal Affairs is coming to an end. This band has been so amazing for the 5 of us, and we are so thankful for everyone who has been apart of it. We have met some of the most incredible friends from around the world thanks to I.A. We have decided to call it quits. No need for a long ridiculous explanation other than we feel it is time to move on. Thanks for your support over the years. Special thanks to: Malfunction Records, Triumvir, Resist Records, Deathwish Inc., Not Just Words Records, 530 Records, Avocado Booking, Crime Scene Merch, Icon Screen Printing, TDT Screen Printing, Untied Print & Press, Tim Oswald, LAHC and everyone who has toured with us, fed us, or provided us a place to stay.


Unfortunately we have to cancel the European tour due to the sudden decision. As for a last show, something will be announced shortly.

This. SUCKS.

Marriage

Before I go any further on this topic, let me just clarify that to all my friends reading this that ARE married, I'm very happy for you and this post, in no way whatsoever, reflects your relationship with your respective partners.


Some of my friends have their weddings planned out. They know exactly what they will look like, what music will be playing, they have it planned to a t..
I never did. I don't really think about it, because I don't think I ever want to get married.

My married friends say that this will change when I meet "the one".

But heres the catch. I don't believe in Love. I think that people mistake lust for love.. sometimes feelings of lust are stronger than others.. but being "in love", to me, is a farce. So, there is no such thing as "the one" (there are 3 billion people in the world, and the notion that we are meant to only meet one person that is totally right for us? hah).. and in turn, marriage was something that never appealed to me.



Oh and, the only way I am ever getting married is if i get this ring (and no. im not kidding):

The Tiffanys Jean Schlumberger Engagement ring. Cost: $24,000.

As Friends Rust.

Im old. This is something I am neither ashamed of, nor proud of. Its a simple fact.

The way that I found out about bands when I first got into hardcore is totally different to how kids find out about them now. We weren't spoonfed bands via the internet. I would get a cd/tape (told you I was old), and read the thank yous in the liner notes. Kids i respected would make me mix tapes (I remember getting one from my friend Danny that had Murphys Law "Stay Gold", one of my all time favourite songs, and Judge "New York Crew", with the words "the only hardcore song you will ever need" next to it, on it.). I would go to shows and check out what shirts kids were wearing. I remember seeing the name "As Friends Rust" a lot so when they played, I went and checked them out.

I loved them.


The songs were perfect. Damiens voice is phenomenal. "The first song on the tape that you make her", "home is where the heart aches" and "coffee black" have been three of my favourite songs forever and AFR have been one of my favourite bands since that show.

I would get that buzz everytime I heard they were coming through town, and would leave their shows with no voice...

Damien left in 2002 and the band split.

Rumours began to surface at the beginning of this year that the band were reforming for a couple of shows and in spring, a show in their hometown of Gainsville, Florida, and a handful of shows in Europe were announced.

Feelings of both excitement and scepticism passed through most AFR fans. The band hadn't been together for such a long time, and reunions were never as good as when the band were together.

Boy, was everyone wrong. The band played like they had never split up, to the best reaction seen for a long time in London. Kids packed up front, singing along like their life depended on it.

Rumours that they are to release a new album soon have been floating around since the reunion show. Lets hope so.

A brief update.

- Ivona. This is a girl who I have a lot of respect for and I adore. She is a strong female involved in hardcore. She can shred guitar better than a lot of dudes I know. And everyone that comes in contact with her falls in love with her.

She has started a new blog called Conspiracy of Women, and wanted to interview me. Obviously, I obliged.

Go read it.

CONSPIRACY OF WOMEN.

- Linking to this, Ivona's band, Honour Among Thieves, are playing one of two of their last shows at Deadfest in Sweden next weekend. You should go:



This is Deadfests last year. I have spent the past two days debating on whether to go or not.
In 2005, I had the same dilemma.

That year, I made a bunch of awesome new friends, Dave Heck being one of them..I became super close to one of my now best friends, and I have some of my favourite memories in the world (Rock Karaoke, Kim Ahls "charging of being fucked up the arse", winning, fuck.. I could go on forever).

So I am going back for one final time. To say goodbye to Linkoping, as I will never have another reason to return, to watch HAT for the second to last time, and to say goodbye to one of the best fests of the summer.

Summer 2008

3 days. 3 FUCKING DAYS? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

That is the subtotal of days of non stop sun London saw in 2008.

The only thing rain is good for: